International Women’s Day: What women really want

It’s been over a century since Freud wondered what women want. To mark Women’s Day, TOI asked women from different fields and walks of life about the changes they wish for
We worked non-stop in the pandemic. All we want is a fair wage
Avantika Giri, anganwadi worker in Delhi
I worked eight-hour days throughout the pandemic without leave even when my family fell sick during the Delta wave last year.I carried my sixth-month old son in my arms and made home visits to conduct surveys, check on pregnant women, convince people to take the vaccine and even distribute rations for young children. It is hard and time-consuming work. But even after so many agitations, the Delhi government has promised us only Rs 12,000 a month as honorarium. Tell me is this enough to raise a family? Or even pay for medical expenses? Why are we treated differently from government employees, when we are expected to work for the government? Is it not fair to demand that we be paid at least Rs 20,000 a month?
Let’s cut the shame around sex
Leeza Mangaldas, sex-positive content creator
Sex has long been constructed as if it is necessarily heterosexual, and gender has long been constructed as if it is necessarily binary. The framework most of us inherit in terms of how sex is imagined is as if sex is necessarily penis in vagina penetration, and men are the necessary predators, and women, only reluctant and/or dutiful participants in the context of a marital relationship, or else the necessary gatekeepers, forbidden from seeking or expressing their own desire or pleasure. Sex is also deeply associated with shame — but ironically people are shamed both for having sex, as well as for not wanting sex. I’d like to see us totally reframe how we see sex such that we eliminate the shame, and our vision enables greater equality: centering consent, enabling women’s sexual agency and autonomy, eliminating discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, recognising and making more space for asexuality, and dismantling the violence inherent in our construction of masculinity.
Women shouldn’t have to search for a clean loo
Supriya Jaan, Right To Pee campaign, CORO India
When I say I want a gender-friendly city, it means a city in which if women need to use the toilet, they don’t have to search for one or think about whether it will be clean enough. I am thinking of all those women from the unorganised sector who do not have access to fancy malls and cafes, and often just have to hold it in. It also means considering women, trans people and others when land use and planning is in process, when budgets are set, and public transport is planned.
Remove barriers to recruitment of female judges
Pinky Anand, senior advocate and former ASG
In India, there have been only 11 female judges ( four of whom are currently serving) out of 256 Supreme Court judges in the past 71 years (4.2%). An increase in women judges means women get visibility and a voice to bring in their viewpoints. It will allow women seeking justice to face less stigma, especially when reporting violence and abuse. It will also make courts more representative and democratically legitimate. A major barrier to women’s recruitment as district judges is the eligibility criteria for entrance exams. Lawyers need seven years of continuous legal practice and must be between 35-45 years of age. This is a disadvantage for women as many are married by this age. Further, the long and inflexible work hours in law, combined with familial responsibilities, force many women to drop out of practice and they fail to meet the requirement of continuous practice. Then, of course, is the infamous gender bias that permeates in the system.
For women founders, the biggest problem is getting funding
Ragini Das, founder, Leap Club
Being a founder is tough, and doing it as a woman is super tough. You don’t have access to real networks. People don’t know who to reach out to, how to reach out to an angel, how to make a pitch deck. That’s something that comes up in our polls and when we have discussions with the thousand founders we work with. Of them, 50-60% agree the biggest problem is getting investment ready and finding people ready to invest. We don’t have reliable networks and have very few role models who are celebrated. Even I have been asked what my long-term plans are in life, which no one is asking a man. My biggest hope is that we don’t have to use terms like ‘female founder’ or ‘women founders’ one day and we can move towards being more gender-agnostic in the way we think about entrepreneurship.
Break this male hero universe with stories of women, by women
Alankrita Shrivastava, director
The upper caste cisgender male hero has been the epicentre of Hindi cinema. The male hero won’t be cast opposite a woman he started his career with but with a heroine who is 20-30 years younger to perpetuate the idea that he is still youthful. Female actors over 30, on the other hand, play aunts, mothers or bhabhis on screen, and usually seen as asexual, uni-dimensional or heroic. This male hero universe has to be broken. I don’t think women stop being sexual or ambitious once they’ve crossed a particular age. When I see a woman in her 50s, I see a woman who has lived a full life, not someone who has to merge into the background. It is interesting to dig into what makes these women who they are and unpack their lived reality. That’s why it is important to have women telling more stories because they see other women differently. I hope to see all kinds of real, complicated women of all ages, protagonists of stories they are telling.
A Parliament half full of women
Tara Krishnaswamy, co-founder, Political Shakti
In 1949 when India adopted its Constitution, Indian women not only got suffrage but also the right to stand for elections. Unfortunately, the second is not talked about as much as the first and has never been redeemed by Indian women in full measure. I want to see political parties make genuine efforts to become hospitable organisations for women to join, grow their political base and contest elections. If we had a Parliament half full of women, we would have seen improvement in many areas that suffer from lack of attention today such as road safety, schooling and clean drinking water because one half of our talent is not applying its perspective to governance.
My other hope for Women’s Day is that the women’s reservation bill is tabled and passed. In the local bodies that have reservation, the percentage of women in many states exceeds 33% — more women are getting elected from general seats as well. We will see the same natural progression at other levels.
More Muslim girls in school, with or without hijab
Zakia Soman, co-founder of Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan
I want to see more and more Muslim girls enrolling for school, finishing it, and proceeding for higher education. Unfortunately, the recent hijab controversy puts women’s education in the background rather than the forefront. It will have a psychological effect on other girls from conservative and economically weaker families and contribute to dropouts. Girls should be in school, with or without hijab.
In my work on the ground, I’ve found there is a lot of desire to educate girls in English medium schools even among poor parents so that they get good jobs. To make this a reality, we need an enabling social environment that is sensitive to the needs of girls, more schools in Muslim neighbourhoods, and support in the form of books or fees.
Laws must provide legitimacy to women’s claims on land
Shipra Deo, director (women’s land rights), Landesa Global
Land is and has always been a powerful productive asset. For a woman, ownership of a piece of land builds her perception of her own identity, offers a life of dignity and resilience and greater influence over household decisions. However, current land policies and laws neglect to acknowledge the independent identity of women. This leads to a huge gap between women’s and men’s rights and access over land. The root cause of this gap lies in pervasive patriarchy, expressed in stereotypes, attitudes and norms that operate at all levels, from family to local community, from land administration to public institutions.
It is important that we realise the power of land rights for women in tackling some of the significant challenges of our time: gender equality, food security and climate change. To close this gap we need to review and amend laws along with efforts to establish the social legitimacy of women’s claims.